Valentine's Surprise
by TheCanadianConspiracy
Summary: One-shot. Gilbert gives Matthew a Valentine and gets something unexpected in return. Canada/Prussia, crack warning.


**Valentine's Surprise**

Canada didn't know what to expect this Valentine's Day. It was his first Valentine's with Prussia, and he still wasn't entirely sure on how to act around the man. Their relationship – which began with Gilbert drunkenly breaking into his house at three in the morning, demanding pancakes – was hardly a normal one. It was with a bit of surprise, then, that he accepted the innocent-looking card from his boyfriend that February morning.

"Oh, thank you, Gilbert," Matthew said, taking the red envelope and leaning up to give him a quick peck on the lips. The Prussian beamed as he slit open the paper. "That's sweet of you."

"_Ja_, well, I knew you'd like some pansy shit like that."

Canada ignored that comment and took the card out. Really, he hadn't been expecting much. Or at least not anything like a card, even if it was one of those drugstore ones. He turned it over to find a relatively simple design with a small, cartoon person on the front.

There were words next to the figure. It said: _The best way to spend Valentine's is with you!_ Matthew smiled at the message as Gilbert rocked on his heels. He opened the card and his expression turned to one of befuddlement; more words were printed inside.

Matthew read it silently: _. . . Did I say _with_ you? I meant _on_ you! Happy Valentine's Day! _Leave it to Prussia to give him something crass . . .

Canada looked up at the albino, chewing his lip. "What does that mean?" he said. He paused, and a strange light glinted in Matthew's eyes. Prussia started. He was disturbed – actually _disturbed_ – for the first time since he had last seen Russia. "You want to ride me?"

Prussia scoffed. "W-what? Don't be stupid, Matt. I'm always on top." He stood tall, looking as confident as ever, but his cheeks still reddened and he still fumbled over his words slightly.

"From this card, it sounds like you want to ride me." Canada held the card up for a second before tossing it onto the counter, advancing towards the Prussian. "Don't you want to?"

Gilbert backed up, and he hit the kitchen wall. _Dammit, that's so not awesome! _"_Nein_! Why would I?"

"But I want to~" Matthew purred, wrapping his arms around the Prussian's waist. Gilbert swallowed a mouthful of spit. He wondered who took the quiet, unassuming Mattie and replaced him with a Sphinx. "It's Valentine's Day, don't you want to make your lover happy?"

"You're crazy, Mattie," Gilbert said, laughing nervously. He tried to push the Canadian away, but he just held on tighter.

"OK then. How about no pancakes for a week?"

Prussia blanched._ No pancakes?_ He would die! Again! "Canada, that's not fair and you know it."

"It's not fair to lead me on like that," Matthew said, pouting as he began dragging the Prussian away from the wall. "Come on, let me top you for once, eh?"

Gilbert struggled as his boyfriend tried to force him towards the bedroom. His hands had moved to his ankles by this time, and the Prussian crawled frantically at the floor, leaving marks in the linoleum.

"NO! You will NEVER top me!"

Matthew snickered, an uncharacteristic smirk on his face. "We'll see." He dragged Gilbert into their room and locked the door behind them, muffling the albino's shouts.

And Prussia would walk out an hour later with a distinctive limp . . .

* * *

Translations (All German)

Ja = Yes

Nein = No

**A/N:** The card is actually real, and inspired this fic. On the thirteenth, me and my friend S were helping one of our friends pick out a Valentine's card for her girlfriend, at the department store, and we saw one that said pretty much the exact same thing that was shown in the story. She didn't buy the card.

By the way, I've got an idea for another PruCan story, a multi-chapter high school AU. I'm not sure if I'll post it, though, and if I do decide to write it, I'll need some time to flesh it out a bit more first. I'm just wondering if anybody would care for that at all?

Anyway, I hope everyone had a fantastic Valentine's Day, and if you're like me and prefer to pretend that the holiday doesn't exist, I hope you had an awesome February 14th!

I should probably end this author's note before it gets longer than the story itself. Hope you enjoyed, 'bye!


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